I got thinking about this topic after one of my cousins died and his wife is dealing with his death. I had written a book about the grieving I went through when my wife died suddenly thinking it was a be all and end all on grieving.
I think the toughest part about grieving is not the death of your spouse or even the loss you feel about the departure of your spouse. Its dealing with others who don’t know how to deal with grieving people.
It's amazing how many people haven't a clue how to treat people who are grieving and so one of their responses is to just ignore them. The other thing I found is they go out of their way to avoid talking to you.
You don’t get invited to thinks because they don't know what to say or do and feel they will say something wrong. I know that was one of the issues I had with a lot of my friends and I had to figuratively walk them through the thought that I haven't changed.
Yes, I'm struggling but I'm working past where I was. When you run into people who you find have lost a spouse put your arm around them give them a hug let them know that you have an ear that would love to hear their stories.
Ask them to tell you a couple of things about some happy event or let them reminisce. Give them space to share memories.
Next give them a hug, don't be afraid because we all need to be touched, we all need to be cared for. And if they need a shoulder to cry upon offer yours. Unfortunately, it is not one of those one and done type events.
They will live with the loss the rest of their lives and they will continue to have moments where music, Sites, events or people, will trigger emotions and they don't know where they're coming from. It's not bad or good it just is.
So, if you know someone who is grieving let them know that they are still your friend. Invite them to things you would invite your other friends to and enjoy their company. Live life to its fullest.
If you have struggled with this question and others then go to Patterson2Y2R,com/blog should be a place you should visit to share your stories and challenges.
I have an ear that would love to hear your stories. Let’s taste the real meaning of life. I am still working on my course with the goal of launching a starter course, and I will keep you abreast as to how the process goes.
If you want to participate in this process and join my first class please send me an email to bobchuckpatterson@yahoo.com
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